Archive for the 'Roommate' Category

Gerry the Hell’s Angel

Tuesday, September 5th, 2006

I’ve previously written that a pain-in-the-ass is not worthy of respect only because they happen to live with a handicap. My one-time roommate Gerry proved himself a textbook example of my well-founded conviction.

Gerry bragged that he had once auditioned to fill the vacant position in the Doors left by Jim Morrison’s alleged death. Amazingly the three surviving members held the audition in the mid-eighties. Gerry claimed to have performed very well but “the bastards” rejected him “because [he’s] handicapped.” more »

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No Soap

Monday, August 28th, 2006

The staff at the warehouse operated within the law when they strongly suggested to an unwashed resident that they shower. But the same series of laws prohibited the staff from forcing soap and water on even the most slovenly detainees. Filthy stinking elderly patients that couldn’t wash themselves and grubby odious mentally handicapped adults that didn’t know any better enjoyed certain personal freedoms bestowed by clueless politicians. Flunkies that paid little attention to their own hygiene enforced these token rights and knew that a resident’s “refusal” to shower meant less work. more »

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My Roommate Marks His Territory

Tuesday, July 18th, 2006

Another cherished warehouse memory features Tim getting blind drunk and shitting on the linoleum floor in front of our shared closet.

Tim had been sloshed and passed out after mewling about the unfairness of life. After he had woken from forty-five minutes of fitful slumber I heard him stir, immediately unlock the drawer in his nightstand and fumble for a bottle—undoubtedly a pint of cheap vodka. Then I heard him unscrew the cap and guzzle a healthy measure. more »

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Wussiness Is a Disease

Thursday, July 13th, 2006

I assure you that I think everyone should cut slack for people plagued by involuntary physical, mental, or emotional handicaps. But self-pitying dysfunctional assholes that choose not to help themselves aren’t worthy of my or anyone else’s respect regardless of whether or not they’re handicapped. During my involuntary stint at the warehouse I noticed that many residents did not suffer from an overwhelming condition that required round-the-clock medical attention. more »

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