Worthless Goddamned Cripple

While I crept out of the coma I discovered wires connected to strategic areas of my body that fed vital signs to a bank of monitors. An IV tube, ready to administer real medicine, pumped saline solution into a vein in my arm. Some nurse had jammed a tube leading to a pissbag into my urethra.

You haven’t lived until you’ve dealt with a plastic tube sprouting from your wally. I’m aware of guys that shove foreign objects into their urethra when they masturbate. On that note, I’d like to point out that some men get their ya-ya’s out when humorless buffoons wearing leather costumes plunge large needles into their testicles. more »

An orderly working at the rehabilitation hospital welcomed me by suggestively rubbing my anus with her finger while she gave me a shower. She so much as admitted that her diddlng had nothing to do with hosing me down. more »

Before the American medical system unceremoniously dumped me into the warehouse aka convalescent home, I endured close to three months in a rehabilitation hospital. Instead of giving me appropriate care, the staff dealt with me like I was a retarded animal. I expected shabby treatment from the naïve CNAs who considered themselves “health care professionals” as if making beds and emptying bedpans are specialized skills. But the reasonably well-educated therapists that should have known better also patronized me to an obscene extent. This occurred at the tail end of the twentieth century in a modern medical facility located in a major American city. In retrospect I’m surprised they didn’t recommend that I be bled by leeches. more »